My boys are each unique and each amazingly smart and funny. I sit here and can't help but know that I am blessed. Children truly are a gift from the Lord.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
My Pride and Joy
I just have to brag on my boys for a minute. They are growing up and each of them is doing new things every day. It's an exciting time at our house!
Asa is 5 years old and in kindergarten. He loves school. He likes drawing and writing letters and numbers. He always has a story to tell about his drawings. He played soccer this fall and had a blast. Today he was cutting up paper and gluing it together to make people. This boy is just so creative! I love it!
Judah is 4 and in preschool. He also loves going to school. He likes playing soccer at school. At home he plays with cars, puzzles and likes to sing and color. He loves to help in the kitchen. Yesterday he even helped me with the dishes! We just had Judah's conference at preschool and it was great. His teachers said he is right on track academically to go to kindergarten next year. He is slowly learning how to be his own person, separate from his big brother. I'm so proud of his sudden interest in writing letters. It's fun to watch his fast progress.
And our baby... Reuben is 1 year old; he will be 2 in 6 weeks. He likes making silly faces, jumping, dancing, running, taking care of babies, playing with playdough and doing everything his brothers do. This boy named 7 body parts on a doll tonight! His speech is improving every day. It's so fun to hear him speak the same words we do and be able to communicate with us. The picture below is Reuben reading a book on the deck. He lives the good life!
My boys are each unique and each amazingly smart and funny. I sit here and can't help but know that I am blessed. Children truly are a gift from the Lord.
My boys are each unique and each amazingly smart and funny. I sit here and can't help but know that I am blessed. Children truly are a gift from the Lord.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Nine Years!
Pretend that I posted this last week, August 9, 2012. Thank you.
Today James and I celebrate nine years of marriage.
*As a side note, this is apparently the week to get married. We know a lot of people celebrating anniversaries this week!
We don’t have a big celebration planned this year but I am very excited for some Red Lobster tonight! That comes with a side of relaxing conversation and a guarantee that we won’t have to wipe any faces or tell anyone to quit saying poopy-head at the table. We are thinking about taking a big trip next year without our kids to celebrate 10 years together!
Each year on our anniversary, I think, “Shwoo! We’ve made it another year.” There are always some hard times, plenty of arguments, but not usually anything life-altering. And each year there are always great times! This year has been different. There a couple things that stand out that have caused us much pain. As I look back, the thing that I remember most about going through these hard times is the way James and I clung to each other. When you are married to someone for a while, you start to share the same thoughts, the same opinions about things, the same beliefs. It is easy to talk with someone when you know what they are going to say. When you trust them. James and I both like to talk (no surprise there). I would say that we have talked more in this year of marriage than ever before. We would lay in bed talking into the early hours of the morning. We talked while James was at work. At a time when I didn't know who to talk to or how to express my thoughts politely, I leaned into my husband. I would have preferred if this past year had been smooth and calm. But I am glad that James and I were able to become closer together through our struggles.
Today James and I celebrate nine years of marriage.
*As a side note, this is apparently the week to get married. We know a lot of people celebrating anniversaries this week!
We don’t have a big celebration planned this year but I am very excited for some Red Lobster tonight! That comes with a side of relaxing conversation and a guarantee that we won’t have to wipe any faces or tell anyone to quit saying poopy-head at the table. We are thinking about taking a big trip next year without our kids to celebrate 10 years together!
Each year on our anniversary, I think, “Shwoo! We’ve made it another year.” There are always some hard times, plenty of arguments, but not usually anything life-altering. And each year there are always great times! This year has been different. There a couple things that stand out that have caused us much pain. As I look back, the thing that I remember most about going through these hard times is the way James and I clung to each other. When you are married to someone for a while, you start to share the same thoughts, the same opinions about things, the same beliefs. It is easy to talk with someone when you know what they are going to say. When you trust them. James and I both like to talk (no surprise there). I would say that we have talked more in this year of marriage than ever before. We would lay in bed talking into the early hours of the morning. We talked while James was at work. At a time when I didn't know who to talk to or how to express my thoughts politely, I leaned into my husband. I would have preferred if this past year had been smooth and calm. But I am glad that James and I were able to become closer together through our struggles.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Weekends
We all love the weekend. It's a break from the daily schedule of life. At least it is for most people. We have a lot of friends who either work every Saturday or have a changing schedule and work the occasional Saturday or Sunday. Even so, if you have school age kids, your weekend will be different from your average week day.
For us, weekends are a time to relax. A time to play. A time for projects around the house. Those are James' favorites. (not) His favorite is sleeping. And watching college football. (Just over 7 weeks until football season begins!)
We have had a busy summer. Well, busy for us. We have been to my mom's in Iowa, Colorado for camping with James' family, mission trip to Paola, KS with the youth from our church, Iowa again, hosting my family, celebrating Judah's birthday and my 30th birthday... We have had a lot of events on our calendar!
This weekend was our first weekend with nothing on the calendar in a long time. The last "free" weekend for us was June 9-10. Before that James' mom was here for 2 weekends. Before that was the always busy month of May. It's just been a long time since we have had a peaceful weekend at home. I was really looking forward to having some time to relax and get some work done. So here's what the weekend looked like (in no particular order):
-we raked and bagged half the leaves from our back yard (that makes 13 bags) (yes, it's July but according to Asa, it's fall at our house) The boys played in the sandbox while we worked. They would occasionally run over to get blown away by the leaf blower.
-I started organizing all of our paperwork and shredded a bunch of stuff
-James made a logo for the next teaching series at church
-we went on a mini shopping spree to Children's Place ($24 spent) and got Asa a backpack for kindergarten :(
-we ate ice cream and popsicles
-we made Chipotle burritos (they were good but not the same)
-I wrote up a menu for the week and went to the grocery store
-James and I watched 2 movies: Fifth Quarter and Casa de Mi Padre
-James took a nap
I'm not sure what the kids did all weekend. I think they were home...
The productivity continued into today. I had two browning apples so I made individual apple crisps which James and I enjoyed after the boys went to bed tonight.
I also baked a cake for James to take to a baby shower at work tomorrow. He decorated it while I was at a meeting this evening.
For us, weekends are a time to relax. A time to play. A time for projects around the house. Those are James' favorites. (not) His favorite is sleeping. And watching college football. (Just over 7 weeks until football season begins!)
We have had a busy summer. Well, busy for us. We have been to my mom's in Iowa, Colorado for camping with James' family, mission trip to Paola, KS with the youth from our church, Iowa again, hosting my family, celebrating Judah's birthday and my 30th birthday... We have had a lot of events on our calendar!
This weekend was our first weekend with nothing on the calendar in a long time. The last "free" weekend for us was June 9-10. Before that James' mom was here for 2 weekends. Before that was the always busy month of May. It's just been a long time since we have had a peaceful weekend at home. I was really looking forward to having some time to relax and get some work done. So here's what the weekend looked like (in no particular order):
-we raked and bagged half the leaves from our back yard (that makes 13 bags) (yes, it's July but according to Asa, it's fall at our house) The boys played in the sandbox while we worked. They would occasionally run over to get blown away by the leaf blower.
-I started organizing all of our paperwork and shredded a bunch of stuff
-James made a logo for the next teaching series at church
-we went on a mini shopping spree to Children's Place ($24 spent) and got Asa a backpack for kindergarten :(
-we ate ice cream and popsicles
-we made Chipotle burritos (they were good but not the same)
-I wrote up a menu for the week and went to the grocery store
-James and I watched 2 movies: Fifth Quarter and Casa de Mi Padre
-James took a nap
I'm not sure what the kids did all weekend. I think they were home...
The productivity continued into today. I had two browning apples so I made individual apple crisps which James and I enjoyed after the boys went to bed tonight.
And I made strawberry rhubarb jam. I haven't tasted it yet but I am very glad that the jar lids sealed!
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Father's Day
For Father's Day this year, I followed with the new tradition we are setting. (perhaps) I interviewed the boys about their dad. Their answers follow:
How old is Dad?
Asa: 20
Judah: old
What does Dad like to wear?
A: his glasses
J: red shirt
What color is Daddy's hair?
A: the same as mine
J: black
What color are Daddy's eyes?
A: black or brown
J: brown
Daddy loves to eat:
A: casseroles
J: pancakes
My dad works hard at:
A: doing his job of work
J: church
Daddy always tells me:
A: how to be nice
J: a story
What makes Daddy happy?
A: when I obey him
J: my cars
Where does Dad want to go on vacation?
A: a place with hot air balloon
J: church
If I could give Daddy anything, it would be:
A: coffee
J: a cookie
We had a super-dad lunch, Dad's root beer, biscuits and gravy, super hero capes. It was fun. After lunch I sent James out on a scavenger hunt with one of his good friends. They drove around town following clues to find their gifts. It was a fun day and I was glad to be able to spoil my guy a little bit!
How old is Dad?
Asa: 20
Judah: old
What does Dad like to wear?
A: his glasses
J: red shirt
What color is Daddy's hair?
A: the same as mine
J: black
What color are Daddy's eyes?
A: black or brown
J: brown
Daddy loves to eat:
A: casseroles
J: pancakes
My dad works hard at:
A: doing his job of work
J: church
Daddy always tells me:
A: how to be nice
J: a story
What makes Daddy happy?
A: when I obey him
J: my cars
Where does Dad want to go on vacation?
A: a place with hot air balloon
J: church
If I could give Daddy anything, it would be:
A: coffee
J: a cookie
We had a super-dad lunch, Dad's root beer, biscuits and gravy, super hero capes. It was fun. After lunch I sent James out on a scavenger hunt with one of his good friends. They drove around town following clues to find their gifts. It was a fun day and I was glad to be able to spoil my guy a little bit!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Beauty from Pain
These are the lyrics to a touching song by Superchick.
Shortly after we lost baby Micah these lyrics were going through my head. Actually, they were going through James' head as well. We have had some other difficulties this past year as well. Things are turning out different that we had imagined. As I was driving home tonight, I heard this song and the lyrics rang true again. "And though I can't understand why this happened, I know that I will when I look back some day and see how you've brought beauty from ashes, and made me as gold purified through these flames." This is such a comfort. All that is lost is not forgotten. All that is broken is not thrown away. We are healing and moving forward. Some days are just harder than others.
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away
After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames
After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
Here I am at the end of me
Tryin' to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn
After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away
After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames
After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
Here I am at the end of me
Tryin' to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn
After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
Shortly after we lost baby Micah these lyrics were going through my head. Actually, they were going through James' head as well. We have had some other difficulties this past year as well. Things are turning out different that we had imagined. As I was driving home tonight, I heard this song and the lyrics rang true again. "And though I can't understand why this happened, I know that I will when I look back some day and see how you've brought beauty from ashes, and made me as gold purified through these flames." This is such a comfort. All that is lost is not forgotten. All that is broken is not thrown away. We are healing and moving forward. Some days are just harder than others.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Mother's Day
The boys gave me a scroll this year with the following words this year...
About Our Mom
What does Mom do while Asa is at school
Asa: messes up my stuff
Judah: watch movies
If Mom were an animal, what would she be?
A: a dinosaur because dinosaurs are big and sometimes girls, like the mommy dinosaur from Dinosaur Train
J: a lion
What is Mommy's favorite TV show?
A: The Cosby Show
J: Dora
What is Mommy's most important rule?
A: clean up
J: poop on the potty
Why do you love Mommy?
A: she gets me stuff, she likes stuff I do.
J: she makes me happy
What is the best food Mommy makes?
A: the Cars macaroni
J: Nutella sandwich
What makes Mommy laugh?
A: when I tell funny stuff and jokes
J: being funny (when I am funny)
How tall is Mommy?
A: by the lamp
J: as tall as Daddy
What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy?
A: go to Hy-Vee
J: help Mommy cook
What is Mommy the best at?
A: cooking
J: watching movies
Note: Reuben was unavailable for questioning.
This is the best gift! It captures so much about our life right now. It's a gift that I will cherish forever! Thanks James!
About Our Mom
What does Mom do while Asa is at school
Asa: messes up my stuff
Judah: watch movies
If Mom were an animal, what would she be?
A: a dinosaur because dinosaurs are big and sometimes girls, like the mommy dinosaur from Dinosaur Train
J: a lion
What is Mommy's favorite TV show?
A: The Cosby Show
J: Dora
What is Mommy's most important rule?
A: clean up
J: poop on the potty
Why do you love Mommy?
A: she gets me stuff, she likes stuff I do.
J: she makes me happy
What is the best food Mommy makes?
A: the Cars macaroni
J: Nutella sandwich
What makes Mommy laugh?
A: when I tell funny stuff and jokes
J: being funny (when I am funny)
How tall is Mommy?
A: by the lamp
J: as tall as Daddy
What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy?
A: go to Hy-Vee
J: help Mommy cook
What is Mommy the best at?
A: cooking
J: watching movies
Note: Reuben was unavailable for questioning.
This is the best gift! It captures so much about our life right now. It's a gift that I will cherish forever! Thanks James!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Words From My Heart
It's been over eight weeks since we lost our fourth baby. I've been trying to write this post for several weeks. It's draining to pen my feelings. We found out a few weeks ago that the baby was a girl. Micah Elizabeth. I was hoping for a girl this time. We have some adorable summer dresses that my sister and I wore when we were babies. They would have been perfect for a July baby. I guess I have wished for a girl all along. My sisters have girls and they have always been fun. Every chance I get, I braid their hair, paint their nails and take them shopping. Those aren't the typical things moms with boys do, so I cherish the time I get to spend with my nieces. They are getting older so now I get to talk to them about fashion and boys!
Now, don't get me wrong, I love my boys! They are fun to play with and they enjoy doing some girl stuff like cooking and making crafts. Every time I'm in the kitchen, Judah asks, "What you making?" and pushes a chair to the counter to help me. Asa loves drawing pictures and telling detailed stories about the characters he has drawn. Reuben is strong and loves to climb and play just like his big brothers. It is fun to watch them all wrestle, something that wouldn't happen with a gaggle of girls. I love my boys!
It's difficult to think about our loss and try to rationalize it in my mind. Pregnancy is the epitome of the "already, not yet" concept. A life in the womb changes your thoughts, your plans, your diet, your exercise, your dreams. But it's not visible or tangible. I had started to envision myself this summer as a pregnant woman. It would be hot. I would follow Reuben around the playground, making sure he didn't step off the edge. We would swim and I would have looked ridiculous. We would take an early vacation. Asa would start kindergarten and I would have a baby. Most of these things will still happen. I will look ridiculous at the pool, no getting around that! We will go on vacation. Asa will start kindergarten. But there will be no baby. We will have a great summer! I won't be miserably hot. I will have no restrictions for having lots of fun with my family. But there will be no baby. I haven't lost something tangible, but I have lost a dream. The way I envisioned my life has changed.
I don't really feel mad or confused about why our baby died. It appears that it was an accident. Something just went wrong. I am grateful for three perfect boys. I think I took for granted what an absolute miracle it is for a human to be born. The process is so delicate. Millions of things have to happen exactly right in order for a baby to be born healthy and fully developed.
As I sit in my living room with my boys, I am thankful for the family God has given me. I have the smartest, funniest, cutest kids in the world. I am still sad that we lost Micah before we even got to know her. I am beginning to hope for another baby, maybe even a girl. I am trusting that God will continue to bless our family. He always provides just what we need.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love my boys! They are fun to play with and they enjoy doing some girl stuff like cooking and making crafts. Every time I'm in the kitchen, Judah asks, "What you making?" and pushes a chair to the counter to help me. Asa loves drawing pictures and telling detailed stories about the characters he has drawn. Reuben is strong and loves to climb and play just like his big brothers. It is fun to watch them all wrestle, something that wouldn't happen with a gaggle of girls. I love my boys!
It's difficult to think about our loss and try to rationalize it in my mind. Pregnancy is the epitome of the "already, not yet" concept. A life in the womb changes your thoughts, your plans, your diet, your exercise, your dreams. But it's not visible or tangible. I had started to envision myself this summer as a pregnant woman. It would be hot. I would follow Reuben around the playground, making sure he didn't step off the edge. We would swim and I would have looked ridiculous. We would take an early vacation. Asa would start kindergarten and I would have a baby. Most of these things will still happen. I will look ridiculous at the pool, no getting around that! We will go on vacation. Asa will start kindergarten. But there will be no baby. We will have a great summer! I won't be miserably hot. I will have no restrictions for having lots of fun with my family. But there will be no baby. I haven't lost something tangible, but I have lost a dream. The way I envisioned my life has changed.
I don't really feel mad or confused about why our baby died. It appears that it was an accident. Something just went wrong. I am grateful for three perfect boys. I think I took for granted what an absolute miracle it is for a human to be born. The process is so delicate. Millions of things have to happen exactly right in order for a baby to be born healthy and fully developed.
As I sit in my living room with my boys, I am thankful for the family God has given me. I have the smartest, funniest, cutest kids in the world. I am still sad that we lost Micah before we even got to know her. I am beginning to hope for another baby, maybe even a girl. I am trusting that God will continue to bless our family. He always provides just what we need.
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